Wednesday, March 18, 2026

The Hero of Hempstead

Mark was mad because he was from Hempstead 
and all his city friends called him a pussy 

He bought a bayonet at the Army Navy
strapped it to his leg
flashed his Spanish teacher 
and got suspended for a week

Later, he hurled half a forty 
through the church window 
and nailed a priest on the head 

He went inside and pissed the pews
as Father rubbed his bloody skull

A crying boy then fled the confessional 
—Hempstead erupted in controversy        

Mark was hailed as a hero 
Reporters interviewed him 
Talk shows extended invites 
Beauties graced his lunch table 

Last Thanksgiving
he and a cheerleader 
borrowed Mom's Volvo
to catch a midnight showing     

They were never seen again

Mark's city friends still call him a pussy
Some people are never satisfied 

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